Lessons from a Bull

A man takes his wife to the stock show. They start heading down the alley that had the bulls. They come up to the first bull and his sign stated:
"This bull mated 50 times last year."
The wife turns to her husband and says,
"He mated 50 times in a year, you could learn from him."

They proceed to the next bull and his sign stated: "This bull mated 65 times last year." The wife turns to her husband and says, "This one mated 65 times last year.
That is over 5 times a month. You can learn from this one, also."

They proceeded to the last bull and his sign said: "This bull mated 365 times last year."
The wife's mouth drops open and says, "WOW! He mated 365 times last year.
That is ONCE A DAY!!! You could really learn from this one."

The man turns to his wife and says, "Go up and inquire if it was 365 times with the same cow !!."

Some newly married friends were visiting us
when the topic of children came up.
The bride said she wanted three children,
while the young husband said two would
be enough for him.

They discussed this discrepancy for a
few minutes until the husband thought
he'd put an end to things by saying boldly,
"After our second child, I'll just have vasectomy."

Without a moment's hesitation, the bride retorted, "Well, I hope you'll love the third one
as if it's your own...."

The Flood

A man comes home in the middle of the day and finds his young wife standing in the middle of their deluxe apartment wearing a red G-string, 7 inch steel heels,
and the whole apartment is flooded.

"What happened here?" he asks.

"I think the waterbed busted,"
says the trembling wife.

Just then a naked guy floats by.
"and who's that?" demands the husband.

"I dunno, must be a life guard."