|
|
|
|
The Diagnosis
A man runs into the vet's office carrying his dog, screaming for help.
The vet rushes him back to an examination room and has him put his dog
down on the examination table. The vet examines the still, limp body
and after a few moments tells the man that his dog, regrettably, is
dead.
The man is clearly agitated and not willing to accept this, and demands
a second opinion.
The vet goes into the back room and comes out with a cat,
and puts the cat down next to the dog's body. The cat sniffs the body,
walks from head to tail poking and sniffing the dog's body and finally
looks at the vet and meows.
The vet looks at the man and says, "I'm sorry, but the cat thinks
that your dog is dead, too."
The man is still unwilling to accept that his dog is dead.
The vet brings in a Black Labrador. The Lab sniffs the body, walks from
head to tail,
and finally looks at the vet and barks. The vet looks at the man and
says,
"I'm sorry, but the lab thinks your dog is dead, too."
Finally resigned to the diagnosis, thanks the vet and asks how much
he owes.
The vet answers, "$550." "What ?!! $550 to tell me my
dog is dead?" exclaimed the man!
"Well," the vet replies, "I would only have charged you
$50 for my initial diagnosis.
The additional $600 was for the cat scan and lab tests."
 
|
|
The Vampire Bat
A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and
parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep.
Pretty soon all the other bats smelt the blood and began hassling him about
where he got it.
He told them to go away and let him get some sleep. However, the bats persisted
until finally he gave in. "OK, follow me," he said and flew out
of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him.
Down through a valley they went, across a river and into a forest full of
trees. Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly milled around
him."Now, do you see that tree over there?" he asked."Yes,
yes, yes!" the bats all screamed in a hungry frenzy.
"Good," said the first bat tiredly,
"Because I didn't!" |
The Persistent Duck
A duck walks into a feed store and asks,
"Got any duck feed?" The clerk tells him,
"No, we don't have a market for it so we don't carry it." The
duck says, "Okay," and leaves.
The next day, the duck again walks in to the feed store and asks, "Got
any duck feed?"
Again the clerk says no and the duck leaves.
Next day, the duck once again walks in, and asks, "Got any duck feed?"
The clerk says,
"I've told you twice, we don't have duck feed, we've never had duck
feed and we never will have duck feed. If you ask me again, I'll nail
your feet to the floor." The duck leaves.
The next day, the duck walks in and asks,
"Got any nails?" the clerk replied, "No."
"Got any duck feed?"
|
|