Honey, could you hand me
the hairdryer please ? |
It's A Small World
An elderly couple was driving across the country. While the woman
was
behind the wheel, the couple was pulled over by the highway patrol.
"Ma'am, did you know you were speeding?" the officer said.
The woman, hard of hearing, turned to her husband and asked,
"What did he say?" "He said you were speeding!"
the old man yelled.
The patrolman then asked, "May I see your license?"
The woman turned to her husband again, "What did he say?" |
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The old man yelled back, "He wants to see your license!"
The woman then gave the officer her license.
"I see you are from Arkansas," the patrolman said.
"I spent some time there once and went on a blind date with
the ugliest woman I've ever seen."
The woman turned to her husband again and asked, "What did
he say?"
The old man replied, "He said he knows you !"
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For the Love of Guinness
One day, an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walked into a pub. They
proceed to each buy a pint of Guinness. Just as they where about to enjoy
their creamy beverage, three flies landed in each of their pints and got
stuck in the thick head.
The Englishman pushed his beer away from him in disgust.
The Scotsman fished the offending fly out of his beer and continued drinking
it as if nothing had happened.
The Irishman, too, picked the fly out of his drink, held it out over the
beer and then started yelling. "spit it out, spit out, you bastard
! "
Since the fly didn't respond, so he squezzed the fly, then drink the beer. |
The Bedside Vigil
The woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several
months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.
One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat
by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "My dearest, you have been
with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to
support me. When business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you
were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my
health started failing, you were still by my side. You know what?"
"What dear?" she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to
fillwith warmth.
"I think you're bad luck."
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